Tag: insomnia

Posted on

I never know the depths of rage, frustration and directed anger until I try to update a FFXI update.

Stupid Square Enix doesn’t understand the concept of beefing up server banks to handle increased load. So now 90% of their users get a stupid POL-1160 error (“the network is busy”) another 9% start downloading but get interrupted and lose all their progress (“we don’t know how to program an updater that saves its progress”) and something like less than 1% actually get through it all and get into the game. (“We sold our souls to the devil.”)

People keep saying they should use some BitTorrent type update. It would certainly be better than this stupid system where nobody can connect because we’re all trying to connect. The last time, it took me more than 24 hours to finally get connected and back in the game. This time doesn’t look like it’s going to be any faster.

I want a fourth button next to “Network Connection Information”, “Retry” and “Exit” labeled “Stab the person at Square Enix who thinks that the current system works and since everyone keeps paying their monthly dues there’s no reason to change anything.” then one next to that that says “Move update servers to North America so the Japanese players that are currently all getting nice quick updates have to sit through this frustration that all the rest of us are feeling.”

Bad user interface to have all that text on a button, but hey, I’d hit that fourth one over and over and over and over and START THE DAMN DOWNLOAD AGAIN YOU STUPID PROGRAM I JUST WANT TO GO TO SLEEP.

Posted on

I hate Tuesdays

For the last few Tuesdays, someone has taken it upon themselves to drag a trash can from one end of the alley behind our house all the way to the other end.

Either they’re just now doing it, or I’m just now noticing it because I’ve been leaving the window open because we finally got around to being less dependent on the A/C… but either way it’s really frigging loud and it always wakes me up.

So Tuesdays suck because I never get enough sleep.

Also, last night I had a dream (or you might say a nightmare) that Nati still hadn’t left yet! The horror!

Once again, I had so many ideas driving to work about what to type into this thing, but I’ve forgotten them all.

Posted on

I can’t sleep.

It’s nights like these when I wonder if I accidentally drank too much caffeine. I can’t fall asleep, thoughts keep racing through my head. Partly it’s about the events of the last few days, but mostly it’s one of those “what I’ve done with my life” sort of random thought processes.

What does it always come down to? “Why don’t I have a girlfriend?” But then immediately followed by “Do I even really want a girlfriend?”

There’s the laundry list of failed attempts dating back 8 years. The one that hurts above all is the one who all the rest inevitably get compared to. I can’t even say her name, as she may eventually read this, and this is not the way I’d want her to find out my feelings… if I even know my own feelings, hazy as they are; it’s been 3 years since I last saw her, 6 since I met her.

It’s one of those weird cosmic things. If you ever read the stories about how a couple gets together because of some weird coincidence, or some random event that occurs that shoves the two of them together and they live happily ever after — this is the complete opposite. Through random occurrence, spooky events, and yes, a fair dose of lack of courage on my part, we never got together. It was close though.

It’s one of those things that’s always in your head. A vow to yourself. My vow is that if I ever run into her again, I will not let her get away. Fate, it seems, wanted to make it difficult. So I’ve left it up to fate.

[long pause while I think of something to type]

It seems the only way I can stop dwelling on the distant past is to start dwelling on the more recent past. I already know which of the missed opportunities of the last year will be the ones that will keep me up at night years from now.

You’d think I would do something about it. But, what if I run into her? What if it’s while I’m on a date with another girl? Fate would love to do that to me.

I hate my subconscious mind. It’s always the worst case. I want to go to sleep, but it’s not over yet.

And tomorrow’s gonna be a long day at work.

Posted on

It keeps raining…

Maybe I’m sleeping in so much because it’s dark and my body doesn’t want to wake up because the sun doesn’t shine in the window? That’s silly, the sun never shines in my window. Hmmm…
I had so many profound thoughts over the weekend, and they’re all lost into the mists of time, oh well.
*sigh* Why does it seem that the more time I spend at work, the more time I’m spending fixing other people’s mistakes. As Shannon pointed out, it’s “job security,” which is the positive way of looking at it. I just have to keep telling myself these people aren’t stupid, they’re just misinformed, they’ll get better. Now if only there weren’t such a high rate of turnover…
I need to buy new windshield wiper blades, but as soon as I do, it won’t rain again for the entire season. It’s a heavy burden, being singularly responsible for the rainfall of an entire state. I don’t know if I’m up to it. I think I’ll just go without replacing them until July, when it’s safe… because I happen to like the rain.
My feet hurt from DDRing so much last night… I need to get velcro so I can use my PSX pads with the foam underpads I have.
It’s girl scout cookie season again… I’m gonna gain five pounds again…

Posted on

Another day another dollar

I suppose I should at least write a little about today. It can be summed up in one phrase. “Dammit Jim, I’m an engineer, not a project coordinator!”
*sigh* So I spend all day at work trying to get this project in order, because sometimes it just falls onto the engineer to get everything together, because they’re the last ones who need everything, so if something’s missing, they have to go find it. But only if someone isn’t doing their job. Or in this case, if there isn’t anyone who has that job.
Then I went home and played Phantasy Star Online for the first time with people I actually knew instead of random people from the lobby. And had a blast… I really wanna take some time off and just play PSO all day. Heh heh heh.
And yes, it’s 1:44am and I’m still awake. This does not bode well for waking up tomorrow.

Posted on

What a difference a day makes

So I was thinking once again during the hour-long drive back from band practice, listening to the Magnolia soundtrack… realizing what one of the things about that movie was that made me like it so much: the fact that it takes place within one day.
I already knew I liked that sort of thing, The Paper is one of my favorite movies, as is Groundhog Day (although that one sort of breaks the rules) and Pulp Fiction. What is it about these movies that appeals to me so much? The fact that they chronicle a day in the life of people that is so profound that it changes their life.
I can identify with this, because I’ve had a few of these, only two though. Days like this aren’t common, you may be tempted to call a day “profound” when you are just confusing it with “busy.” I’m sure the one day I’m thinking of counts as this, because, if I wanted to, I could make a 2-hour movie about it; I’ve already written a three-part essay about it. (For those of you paying attention, and perhaps even read the article in the CAA Konshuu back in 1998, I’m referring to my first Anime Expo).
Bah, I should probably get to work. This whole “fall asleep at 4am wake up at noon get in to work at 12:30” thing isn’t exactly doing wonders for me.